Steven Patrick Morrissey

I was alarmed to wake up in the tub. I haven't sleep-walked since I was quite small, which is slightly worrysome. Will worry about it in the morning; meanwhile I shall attempt to stumble back to bed without tripping on Johnny's stuffed pony.

My leg is healing up quite alright. I phoned the local police station to report a cougar attack but was instead redirected to a drug rehabilitation center. Can't fathom what that was all about.
Johnny is still asleep and I shall sneak in a quick shower before he wakes. He must have had a nightmare; I woke up with him gripping me tightly.

I'm still finding dried up leaves in various corners of my clothes. Yesterday feels like a dream. We ended up falling asleep in the field for a while. When we woke up it was already dark. It's around noon now and we're out of every possible food item. I think I'll quickly go down to the Tesco. I feel rather like buying a cake. With lots of blue frosting.

I slept for the first time in 48 hours. I am so relieved Johnny is back. I can't fathom how he is so kind to me. To forgive it all... Or at least I hope he has. I can't worry about it any longer, though. I'll just foolishly attempt to make it up to him.

I just woke up from an interesting dream. I rarely have detailed dreams I can remember, which makes it all the more strange. Feeling a bit down for no particular reason. At least I found my NHS glasses lodged between the cushions of the sofa.

I was awakened by the rain. Seems like it's been raining nearly everyday now. The thunder is devastatingly loud. I suppose I'll crawl back into bed after making myself a cup of tea.

I'm feeling a bit better. My voice is still a bit off though. I sound like a trucker, which I suppose can come in useful in some way.
Johnny is off to finals today. I better go on and make him breakfast. He needs his strength.

We had din din at Mum's yesterday. It went splendedly. Looking at Johnny's parents, I realise how fortunate I am. Putting aside the fact of my father.
Johnny's taking a nap on the couch. He's mumbling something about jaffa cakes and Terry Wogan. Better wake him up.

I've been awake for a while, watching Johnny sleep... and a bit of Coronation Street reruns. Still can't quite fathom how all this could happen to him all at once. I feel terribly guilty.

I should wake him up soon, if he does not on his own accord. We get to leave soon.

I ended up going to prom with Johnny. Prom, out of all things. He's chaging me so much, it's frightening at times. Though, when I shut up the reluctant side of my brain, it was lovely. I wouldn't take it back for anything.

I'm moving in with Johnny today; can hardly believe it. I was already put in the midset of spending the rest of my life on Kings Road. We're supposed to go over there in a little bit. Still haven't told Mum. I am absolutely dreading it.

I woke up unnecessarily early. Johnny is still asleep. It feels so surreal to wake up with somebody else next to me. I wish I knew the right thing to say to him. Almost everytime I touch him he flinches. If only I was one of those skinhead, macho types; I would kick that bigot's face in. But, alas, I'm useless...

I can't stop pacing. This is why I don't get attached to people; its only outcome is distress. It shouldn't be any of my concern. I'm going to sit back with a book and a cup of tea and stop thinking about what he might be doing right now. And how much he's had to drink. And how it's all my fault.


Who am I kidding, I'm going to go looking for him.

I've been sitting and looking at the phone for about an hour now. I can't gather the courage to call him, for some reason. Just as well, though, I guess.
I'm off to the library now.

It's been five months on the dole now. I've been living entirely on black beans, orange juice, and Sandie Shaw records. I was meaning to go to the library today, but something kept me in. Like some twist of fate was going to come knocking on my door this very day...